Here is the nude… you won't be able to go starkers on the beach if you head to Jersey for your holidays this summer.
British naturists have been given a dressing down after suggesting a skinny dip event could be held on the Channel Island.
Nudism is against the law on Jersey, punishable by two years in jail or a fine.
But it's not the only place around the world with some surprising decrees about saucy antics as Daily Star reveals…
BIKE RUDE: Never get amorous on a parked motorbike in London. The practice has been strictly forbidden in the city since worries about randy biking soldiers in the 1940s.
WHEELY RACY: Having nookie in a car in Carlsbad, New Mexico, is within the law as long as you draw curtains inside the vehicle first. But it’s illegal to have sex in an ambulance in Tremonton, Utah.
FLIRTING WITH DISASTER: In the US state of Arkansas you can be sent to jail for 30 days for flirtation and “lascivious banter”.
BRUM OUT OF ORDER: In Birmingham it’s illegal to have “sex on the steps of any church after the sun goes down.”
ROOM WITH A PHEW: Be careful of stripping off near a window in your Singapore hotel room – you could be fined if your naked body is on view.
SNOG DONE: Avoid giving someone a smacker on public transport in Vienna, Austria, where “nuisance” snogging could see you fined.
WATCH OUT: Kissing for more than a minute in Halethorpe, Maryland, could see you doing time while men with moustaches face a brush with the law if they lock lips with women in Eureka, Nevada.
DARK FANTASIES: In the town of Romboch, Virginia, it’s illegal to get down and dirty without the lights off, while sleeping naked in Minnesota is prohibited.
HAVE YOU HERD? In Oklahoma it’s against the law for a bartender to allow their customers to talk about having sex with a buffalo.
COLD SHOULDER: Romping in a butcher’s meat freezer in the town of Newcastle, Wyoming, could land you in hot water.
TIPPLE BAN: It’s okay to drink a beer, right, in bed with your wife in Ames, Iowa, just as long as you don’t have more than three gulps.
DEVIL’S IN THE DETAIL: Having sex with Satan without wearing a condom in Baker-sfield, California, is illegal.
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DRESS CODE: An old law in Melbourne, Australia, allowed men to wear women’s clothes as long as their dresses weren’t strapless.
FETA NOT: Beware mooning in public on your holidays in Greece where the cheeky behaviour could land you with a fine or prison sentence.
TRIGGER HAPPY: Don’t get too fired up in Connorsville, Wisconsin, where shooting your gun is not allowed when a woman is climaxing.
KIT’S OFF: The sale of sex toys is banned in Alabama and Texas, while you’ll need a medical note to purchase one in Georgia.
SPICY EDICT: In the 1970s the government in Peru banned prisoners from eating chillies or hot sauces in case it aroused them too much.
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